Good afternoon from my messy home! I'm sharing photos of my home this morning because, hey, why hide the crazy? As always, thanks for reading today, friends.
The first step on this journey I posted about last week is going to be centered around both the physical and mental/spiritual principle of purging. I’ve seen blog posts before, as have you I’m sure, of before and after photos of closets or of piles of stuff before it heads off to Goodwill, all in the name of purging and simplifying. This is good. I did this. Something that has always been true in my life, though, is that something has to happen IN me before it can happen in a sustainable way AROUND me. Behavior modification is not what I am after. Internal transformation is the goal; more than reducing the clutter in my closets, I want my heart and mind to be changed and rid of the wrong or unnecessary thinking and ideologies that lead to a cluttered life in the first place. Before I started, I asked myself, “why do I have so much stuff?” It’s hard to answer that question honestly. Things come to mind like the fact that Ches and I got married and moved in together two years ago, that our parents have passed off our childhood memorabilia to us in the last year, the fact that my family’s love language is gift giving, the fact that we’ve had a baby and HOLY LORD does your home fill with baby accessories in 3.8 seconds after seeing those two pink lines. When I let go of my excuses, though, the root of my clutter problem lies in my consumerist mentality, which manifests in several ways. 1) My “everything is replaceable and disposable” mentality. 2) My false prioritization of a “bargain” over an ethically made item, as well as my self-centered definition of “bargain”: something that costs ME very little. I’ll deal with these root issues individually. In this post, I’ll deal with issue number 1. “Everything is replaceable, and everything is disposable,” This is a message we hear and see on TV and lived out all around us from age 0. In our Western Culture, everything from toilet paper to clothing to cars and homes and worst of all relationships are treated with the same level of respect (or rather, lack thereof). We consume, we use, we trash. And because we objectify each other, we treat each other like we treat our objects: we consume, we use, we trash. We outgrow each other, we outgrow our things, and we throw them both away with ease. Consumerism/capitalism tells us that when something no longer serves us, it ought to be replaced. In a country where “the pursuit of happiness” is literally written as a top priority in our founding documents, it only makes sense that we would create an economic system dependent on marketers’ ability to promise us happiness lies just around the bend of a department store aisle or a set of augmented breasts. It makes sense that, in “the pursuit of happiness,” we would leave behind whatever or whoever is not a means to that end without too much of a thought. Additionally, despite the economic “crises” of the last decade, we are a part of one of the wealthiest societies in all of history; a society which equates “poor” with ”unhappy” and therefore scoffs and the habits borne of necessity by those who are “poor.” Mending a worn shoe, reusing or repurposing torn clothing, using up wilted lettuce, or even eating leftovers are not financially necessary in the average American home, and are therefore wholly disregarded. Just as “poor and “used” are synonymous with “unhappy,” so is the word “new” synonymous with “happy.” We are told to pursue happiness, and taught that old or worn is sad, therefore we consume. There are two problems I see in this ideology. 1) the initial idea that happiness ought to be what we pursue and 2) the propaganda we believe which equates “poor” “used” and “old” with unhappiness.
I will choose to aim my life at significance; at wholeness, meaning, contentment, peace, and positive impact. I will mend holes in my sweaters. I will repurpose salsa jars. I will “make do or do without.” I will learn to make what I have more than enough. There is no product on the market today, or in the shelves of my closets, that can offer significance. There is no bargain price, beauty product, or new piece of technology that can offer contentment. By changing my target, I change my mind and heart. By changing my mind and heart, I change my actions by default. And so, I purge. First the ideas in my soul and in my brain that say happiness is where I’m heading, secondly my possessions. If it weighs the arrow of my life down en route to its target of significance, it will go. My very favorite quote is one I will apply when considering each item in my home, and each item I consider purchasing in the future: “do not keep anything in your home that you do not consider to be beautiful or useful.” I’ll apply this idea to my physical belongings, and my thoughts and habits, and I’ll keep writing as I learn what it looks like to live a life aimed somewhere new.
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Simple. Sustainable. Significant. At least two of those words are quite trendy at the moment. There was a time when I sort of puked in my mouth over them, simply because they are so overused. After much contemplation, trendy though they may be, these are words that I desire to describe the kind of life that I lead. As soon as I quit being a person who was always pretending not to be “in to” trends and decided it’s perfectly fine to be like everyone else (more on that later), I settled in to this idea of living simply, sustainably and significantly like I settle into my big grey comfy couch every morning by 9 a.m. For years, the dream of owning 3 acres of land to live off of has been growing in my soul. I go there when I day dream – I walk my property on an early summer morning, admiring the 100-year-old Oaks as I breathe in the dewy air that smells of new mercies and hay (also, poop). I greet the cows good morning and collect a few eggs for breakfast. Before I return inside, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, thankful for another day to work the earth, kiss my husband, love my children, and also probably deal with a big heap of whatever kind of crazy life is serving in that particular season. My life is not busy or frantic (it is simple), my existence creates more than it consumes (sustainable), and my moments are meaningful and filled with intention (significant). Dreaming is good. Dreaming is healthy. Escapism is not. That’s why I waited to start this journey and this blog. For a while, this dream was a way to deal with my reality; the hope of escape from frantic and consumptive city-living kept me going. I’ve always been an observant person, though, and I’ve seen a cycle in the lives of strangers and loved ones alike: become discontent with current reality, dream of another reality, move or change to try to create the new reality, repeat. I’m determined not to replicate this cycle in my own life. Even the loftiest dreams fulfilled does not equal contentment. If I am not content in my townhouse, I won’t be content in 3 Acres. Contentment is not something to attain. It is a state of being to cultivate. It is mine to decide I am. I didn’t want to start a blog until I got that truth through my men’s-large-sized-skull (my hat options are just abysmal, guys). I think I have, and so, here we are. 3 Acres is a long way off, for many reasons. Instead of letting the distance keep me dormant, I’m choosing to let it motivate me to fill the space and time with effort. “The time will pass anyway,” as they say. I do not have to live on 3 Acres to start living simply, or sustainably, or significantly. I can live that way now, and ironically if I do, I may be able to close the gap between Townhouse and 3 Acres. So I’m starting down the long road, friends, and I’m inviting you to watch at least, and join me at most. Will you join me? |
Maddi AllenOregonian, woman, wife, mom, business owner, photographer, and writer in pursuit of a simple, sustainable, and significant lifestyle. ArchivesCategories |